Hi people thought would write something on the eve of Valentines day.This is in no manner related to my life and I am so happy it is not but while writing this just realised how worse a valentines day could be for a person.And I would really be sorry if it turns out to be someone's true life story.

All characters used in the article are purely a fictional creation and in no way bear any resemblance to any living or dead person.Hope you enjoy it.
Dhimant Negandhi.






Dire straits.

I have always thought of joining a political party,not for power not for money and not for publicity at least.Power not because I am not sure if I can handle too much power.Money not because I am sure I cannot handle too much money and I would end up buying some fancy good for nothing Japanese electronic gadgets that only I can appreciate.
And not for publicity at least as one of the things I fear most in my life is facing the camera.....

So the question arises why join a political party then If I don't want to for the reasons that most politicians do ????

I started short listing my list of political parties and I was left with only one party,and that was the Jeev Lena party because this was the only party that satisfied my whole and sole requirement of joining a political party.

My mission: Stopping Valentine day celebrations.
This missions exists from the date: 14Th February 2004.
Apparent reasons: They will follow soon.

Now here don't get me wrong,I am not someone who does not like love and all the mushy stuff.I am a peace loving guy and I demand some attention and love too.But as Mr..Amitabh Bachan says Afsos.......Now forget the past..No wait a minute.The past is not so easily forgotten.I will soon join the Jeev Lena party and start my morchas against the cupid lovers frightening and threatening every lover on the streets of Mumbai...And when some crappy news channel desperately in need of some publicity stunts will come to ask me why I am doing all this??
My straight forward answer: "Please make love in your house, not on roads,It is a western concept.We will not let the west influence our tradition" and what not....I am so happy no one except you people will ever know the real reason and that is not finding a valentine partner for the last 24 years of my existence.
I am glad people don't remember dead people by who loved them or else I would have been total lost chapter of the history....
Person 1:Who Mr..X ??
Person 2:Arre Mr..X.
Person1:...Oh!!! Mr.. X.Cant remember his face.Heard that name.
Person 2:Mr. X.The one who was loved by..Hmm..hmmm.. hmm
Person1: Forget it there is no Mr..X.

(Name Mr..X because I cant reveal my identity here).The reason is not that I feel insulted(not that I don't) but because I don't want all the pity in this world from you after reading this article.

Lady friends say:"Hey don't worry,you will get a valentine next year"
I wish to say:"Hey Lady,If you are feeling so sorry why don't you be my valentine.Why wait for one more year? "
She would say "I already have a valentine".
And I want to shout and say "Who in this world ever made this rule that you cannot have more than one valentine".Why cant she simply say that I am too ugly to be her valentine???

My male friends say:"Hey Its nice that you don't have a valentine.Its too much of a pain"
I wish to say:"Hey why don't you just rest at home like me on Valentines day and let me enjoy with her and here the question being ugly does not arise because If she can select my friend as her valentine she can surely select me as her valentine.

Now I distinctly remember my closest shave of getting a valentine company.It was third year of Degree college(14th Feb 2003).It was Valentines day for the 21st time in my life.Some unlucky girl of my college walked out to me and wished me Happy Valentines Day.I reciprocated.My dumb witted friends convinced me that she must definitely love me to say that.With those ransacked brain ideas of my friends,I went ahead and asked her If I could take her to coffee and she replied "I already have a valentine".Now I was first cursing the day and then my friends.Cursing the day and its rules because why do people wish HAPPY VALENTINES DAY when they do not want to be my valentine??.This is the first thing on my agenda after joining Jeev Lena.One who wishes the other a valentines day has to voluntarily act as a valentine if required.

And With friends like these who needs enemies ??

Then again on 14th February 2004,I decided I would make my last attempt to get a Valentine.I short listed three girls whom I could try and convince to go out with me on the golden day.And to make sure I got the valentine this time round.
My criteria for selecting the girl were:

1. THE GIRL SHOULD BE UGLY.( This my friend is necessary.If you think otherwise,you should see me once at least !)

2. SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANOTHER VALENTINE.(I don't mind if she has as long as she comes out with me)

3.SHE SHOULD NOT BE BORING (The day would get too boring if there would be two boring people.Me is just enough)

Hey God did I ask for too much??
I decided to buy three gifts for each of them and just to make sure I make it this time,I decided to buy jewellery.What good planning.Sometimes I am proud of myself...

Now I decided to walk to my friends jewellery shop and buy 3 rings or something.As soon as I entered his shop,There was a van of journalsits from STAR NEWS having some special coverage on Valentines day.My friend feared his existence customers would not say all the good things about his shop.So he made me the customer adn those journalists took my interveiw where I had to say things like "Jewellery is beautiful just like my valentine and I dont mind spending so much for her as she is so beloved to me".

After finishing the testament,I walked selected the cheapest jewellery available walked out to college just to realise to my horror everybody had seen me on STAR NEWS.First I felt happy for getting free publicity but then I realised the 3 girls must have seen it and now they think I am a lucky guy with a valentine for the day.I simply decided not to try any stunts and mad my mom happy by giving her those gifts.

The resolution to join Jeev Lena was the strongest that day.I always used to wonder why would somebody oppose Valentine day celebrations like the Jeev Lena party does.But I think now I have my answer.

They are just some unfortunate people with some unfortunate luck who have spent more than half of their lives finding valentine partners but to no avail.My sympathy with them and with myself.I am waiting outside the party head quarters.There are 2 minutes left before I sign the party papers and change my ideologies.I am still looking out for a valentine !!!!!

JAI JEEV LENA !!!
Dhimrock-14th Feb2006

Happy Valentines Day