LITTLE DID I KNOW......

This is not a post. Neither is this any form of poetry. This is what I call an outburst. There is so much I have been wanting to write. I have a couple of short stories all ready with ideas.There are tons of topics on which I have been waiting to write articles on. And there is the stupid novel which is almost done and over with. But all that flows in this blog is a stupid outburst. Go on. Read it !!

LITTLE DID I KNOW

Nothing Inspires me to write these days;Nothing.
Ideas knock my head and words bang my ears.
They try hard, and they vanish;
But my fingers refuse the pen.

There is so much I have,
To make you smile, and to make you cry,
But I refuse to make a rhyme, not even a mark,
Wont do anything, for which I have to try.

Am thinking of words, when I am with people,
Am thinking of people, when I am with words,
A world of verbatim, and a body of feelings,
That is what I am, the irony of myself.

So, do i know, where I am going?
Or do I know, what I want?
And little did I know, the day was coming,
When nothing inspires me to write, Nothing

26th June...2k8...Dhimrock........Am looking for plain vanilla Inspiration...

P.S : Alternate last line of the outburst was:

And little did I know, the day was coming,
Even people would fail me, not only words.....

There are 2 lines I love the most. Dinner on me, if you guess them.

Woh Kehte hai na.....LIFE HO TO AISI......

One Dreaded question....A million people asking...yaar itna kyon badal gaya?? MBA ka asar??....What answer does one expect when he/she asks me that...? Does he/she expect me to have a genetic expalination?? or was it a rhetoric question??? Anyways....as I start off this post on a pissed off mood..that are reasons for it...which are far beyond explaination...

The real reason I write this post....is that I have not blogged for months now...and everytime i thought about an interesting topic to blog or write a poem on, something distracted me. So tonight I thought, because I cant sleep, I would write a khichdi blog....a line on what i have been wanting to say.... an 'innovation' (its surprising how much this word pisses u off, specially after doing an MBA) in writing , atleast my writing ....



1) MBA: A place where u learn, but at the end of it you prefer the learning without the 'L'

2) Mimmoh: A blessing to the new decade, a decade of ham movies ( followed by B grade movies ) are now surely in the pipeline

3) Inflation: The one word which makes me feel more richer than the poorer....... Communists do not sue me....

4) IPL: Just an istant slap on Subhash Chandras face and Gods way of telling him, Business aise hota hai bhai... u still need to learn a lot

5) Marketing: A passion that kills is a passion allright....

6) PPO: Its 100% satisfaction, 90% pride, 80% happiness, 70% confidence, 60% relief, 50% more free time, 40 % more rishteys from ladke/ladki waale..., 30% more bargaining power, 20% more participation in events, 10% more movies and 0% more motivation for the future....

About to join the corporate world again.....this time as an MBA..... a little more illuminated, a little more emotionless, a little more of everything....

1 AM 11th May..... Tired of something...something I want to leave behind..... Dhimrock

HOPE YOU KNOW......

Hope you know...

Capturing every moment of truth and joy, capturing every moment spent together, capturing what life is all about......

There was a time when I saw your smile,

Saw the joy, the happiness beneath that smile,

Time flies so fast, the moment no longer remains,

But that little curve of yours, perennially remains….

There was a time, when I saw you struggle,

Every barrier was broken, every battle was fought,

Behind that cute little girl, lies the brave daunting shadow,

Crushing all the problems, bringing them to naught…

I’ve even seen you shed that tear,

No, No, it was neither weakness nor fear,

It was just love for the ones that matter,

You’ve set your goals, and you just want to be better….

Rashi, It’s all inside you,

Be there, the way you are,

You’ll reach there, & you’ll never go wrong,

I can see it, your life’s going to be a song…..

So many credos, one single person,

So many emotions, that you show,

To me and the world you make a difference,

Sweetheart, I just hope that you know…..

Dhimrock…..10^th Feb 2008…..

Leaving, but not without telling you what you should know……..

I DIED TODAY

Illumina was over, The whole PG07 present was having a ball, so was my whole team.....My emotions were neither satisfaction over the success, nor it was sadness that the event is over...I was numb. I did not know what to do. I ust walked back to my room and simply put my pen on paper....and this came out....

I Died Today

Happy,Dejected, excited,& every other emotion,
List them all, cant relate to any,
People called it a victory of ambition,
For me, was just on effort of many...

The day is just over, as simple as that,
Why am I so numb, keep looking at the gate?
Wasnt just my passion, it was alot more,
Cant describe it, feeling like a helpless whore...

What lies ahead for me, my world, and around,
A whole new life, or simply a new day,
Will anything ever heal this pain, this wound,
Or will I simply accept it, I died today...

Can also see passions rising, a new disease,
Someone new will soon wear the crown, the glory,
But on a day, he will perish, not in ease,
No books will emboss it, but somewhere buried you will find his story !!!

Dhimrock....28th October 2k7...Illumina over, what else in MDI interests me??? Let me find out....wondering what my new life at MDI will be like.....

Dont know how many people will understand the purpose of this poem, but I hope just one does..... Enjoy the poem....

Making Me Happy...

A year gone by, worries keep me busy,

Searching the path, where life is easy,

But never thought, this would change, in a walk,

All I had to do was to be mum, and let her talk....

A beautiful lady, dewy grass, MDI in light,

A grey dress, folded hands,, fighting cold, in the night,

One of us took the first step out,

Did I ever wanna come back, I doubt...

Chattering, babbling, just whats on her mind,

Words coated with emotion, gestures with tang,

From dreams to cravings, topics she will find,

From misery to glory, engage me in a story...

Sometimes she can be cranky, sometimes just down,

But all you have to do is to talk to her,

Give her a push, a chance to take my case,

Honestly, its just worth the smile on her face...

Singing a song, humming a tune,

Along the path, walking,

Spending our days, just joking,

To sadness, making us immune...

The moments were full of her,

Her smile, her words, her jokes,

Keeping mum was never so worth,

Happiness like heaven, on my earth...

Just putting my thoughts on paper... for someone special.......

Dhimrock.....16th November 2007...

Loving you……..Always…..

Dhimrock

I love you, when you talk
Talk with a smile
I love you, when you are mum,
And the smile is nowhere to be seen
All I wanna do is get you on track,
And the smile again to be seen.

I love you, when you are bold,
Flawless, sharp, cutting like a knife
I love you when you are shy,
Shy and you are blushing red,
All I wanna do is hold myself
Either I will go crazy, or I’ll go Mad…

I love you when you are honest,
Crying, wanting just to be loved,
I love you, when you lie,
Acting bitching, just to be loved,
All is fair in war and love,
All I’ll try is make you feel loved.

I love you, when you are smart,
On the rocks, commanding, calling God unfair,
I love you when you act dumb,
So cute, so little, but still wanting to win,
I can see through you always,
All I wanna do is see you win…

I write and I always write,
But when I write for you,
I feel the writing,
Just like I feel you.

You is very few,
Your lips are the dance of joy,
When they curve to smile,
But the epitome of sorrow,
When they don’t
So always giggle, never give up the smile
And no matter what
I will always Love you.

What I love about you !!!

Your eyes

which first held me captivated

where I stood.

Your smile

to dazzle the sun

and warm every corner of my soul.

Your voice

like a sparkling mountain stream

which flows into my heart.

Your walk

and the way your gracefulness

takes my breath away.

Your hair

about which I dreamed

cascading into my face

as you leaned over me.

Your hands

whose caress I crave

to hold my face

in their tenderness.

Your arms

I long to have around my neck

as you pull me close

to your warmth.

Most of all

everything you are

changed the way I feel about my life.

I love you.

Dhimrock

Slowly but surely.......as every day passes....the memories become more and more extinct ...but more and more embedded in our souls....From today...every month lets relive photographs one by one...

Dhimant

PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES

I went through all our old photographs
memories made over thirteen years
Pictures worth a million words
that bring my soul to pleasure.
I study each one carefully
replaying the memories in my mind
looking for clues of what the future would hold
and the heartache it would leave behind
Smiling friends, visiting new places
a boat trip, a bus, the park
How could we have known that summer day at the Lake
how quickly our bright lives would turn dark
Birthday smiles and early mornings
night in the train and a day at the beach
So carefree and not knowing how soon happiness would be out of our reach
Our passage through life captured on paper
If not for the photos would soon disappear
Fade out of our minds like the love in our hearts
bittersweetly remembered through the years.

Dhimrock...The IT was simply awesome.....Memories Die Hard

KILL ME.........

Kill me if you want,

If it makes your life better,

But you dare leave me alive,

With turth, your world I will shatter....

Kill me if you want,

If it makes you feel a hero,

But you dare leave me hanging,

Myths you love, I'll keep on banging....

Kill me if you want,

If it makes the world sweeter,

Look,look, I am still breathing,

Loser,I'm alone, where success is a fever....

I'm sure, you want me alive,

Why? Tell the world, dont be shy,

Because me, my ego moves the world,

Wrong I am everyone tells me,

But none,none tells me why !!!!

Dhimrock....8th August...in a Brand Manaegment class...wondering whom I work for...what my brand equity is.....when my brand life cycle will end....

Mum-Bye.....

120 days away from Mumbai and I am still surprised to be alive....

Beginning right from my house, every Mumbai memory in some way is connected to food. Mum made soft dhoklas, the corner Vada Pav, Juhu's Omlet Pav, Sukh Sagar's Butter loaded Pav Bhaji, Gnnae ka ras, kandaa bhajee...its food all along....

For 24 years, I have lived an ordinary life, Today I live an 'extra ordinary' life just to miss the ordinary...Do I?? Hell yeah, I do !!!

In fact life has put me into a lane which is like a one way street. I am where everyone wants to be, but I want to be where everyone is !!

My sixth sense tells me, I will never be able to go back to Mumbai....It will soon be an illusion. Evn while I write this, I feel sick ikn my stomach...my gut ....

I have studied for 24 years for a new house, a big one, but today I miss my same old house...dont need a big one...just the same with my parents....
For 24 years I have worked hard to earn my own car..but will it be worth my 24 years...I think u knw the answer....

From my parents to Tendulkar.. to Vada Pav..to Heramb,Subu, ajay and frnds......to 8.33 ki local.....to St Francis..to wankhede...to queens necklace...to my dadi....to Pahal..........

You can take the man out of Mumbai.....but you cant take Mumbai out of the man....

Dhimrock....5th August.....

in Room Number 113..the palace..in front of my lappie....waiting for Illumina and Placements to get over......

You, only you....

Its been tough, but its better now,

Both for you & me, I am sure its better now,

There is no point being so lonely here,

Specially you should know, atleast when I am here..

Let me hold your hand,

And you can close your eyes,

Lets have fun in the sun and sand,

Pleasure for our souls to suffice.

Let me kiss your forhead dear,

And whisper that you are beautiful

Everythings back to normal here,

Why should I not be near??

So if u give 'US' one more chance,

Baby, I will wand away all your pain,

Without no music, in the dark, we will dance,

Without any cloud, we will feel the rain....

Thats all I had to say,

Now its you who'll make my day,

By choosing whats good for you,

And saying what u have said to few !!!!!

Just for you Jelly..written in a hurry...Hope u like it..On my bed, Just feel like like talking to you.....more and more.....and a little more

Dhimrock......19th July 2007

SUMMER INTERNSHIP.....Whts that???

Hi one and all................Just psoting to say that 2 months of gruelling summer internship is O V E R


I knw it hardly means anything to you all.....But how many of u have actually done ur summers in Manufacturing....


GOD Bless.....

Hi guys,

Posting 2 new poems

The first poem is about one night I spent at Rishikesh far away from the city just watching the stars in the plain sky.Hope you like it.
The other one is about me, what I am and what I feel like everyday. Thats being me !!

Tonight

If there ever was a time,

I wanted you along; o dear, it was tonight,

So that you could hear the silence, without a chime,

And see the darkness, without a spark and light.

My back on the sand, hands stretched out,

All I could see was sparkling gems,

One more majestic than the other,

I imagined shapes, one brilliant than the other.

There was no light and yet so much of sparkle and joy,

I had to agree, Ya heaven must be above, had to be,

I craved for the stars, just like a child for his toy,

But I ain’t getting them, coz everything has a place to be.

I wish you were here darling, to share my feeling,

I felt naked among the stars, never felt so strong and true,

Just the sight of the sky, was just so healing,

Confessing all my sins, forgetting all my pain, I just stayed kneeling…….

----Dhimrock

21^st March…1.46 A.M. on my bed..about to fall asleep…thanking the person who inspired me to write this one….Thanks….

Trash Me

Floods can’t drown me,

Famines can’t starve me,

Coz I am hungry for me,

That’s how I decide to carve me!!

Some call me arrogant, maybe I am;

People grade my ego, but in me I find no shame,

Your ‘Self’ should roar like a lion, why try to tame?

I live, I survive, I rejoice, only because I am!!

Throw me in the dumps, and deeper still,

I will still look up and higher I’ll stare,

Man I will worship, no one I fear,

In search of my own God, to whom I have been so near!!

Throw me out and push me aside,

But whose going to ‘think’ me, my rules, I abide;

I’ll do what I want; you ask “Who is gonna let me?”

But all me hears and asks is “Who is gonna stop me?? “

Dhimrock…….14^th March….In the MDI auditorium….Seeing a hundred faces…..but still just a single soul

Just a slightly old post but published today...

There is Hope and then, there is RG..........

Another exam gone and another session of rigorous insomnia is over.

The only good part about everything that happens during the exam time is that it gets over in 3-4 days.

Now Before I came here I never knew that the trimester exams would be further divided into a mid term exam and an end term exam. It hardly been 6 months and I have already given 4 exams !!!! And then there is the concept of RG, or relative grading as everyone calls it in MDI. RG as defined in MDI is when you try everything else to get more marks than the others by every mean other than studying. There are times when people let their roommates sleep although he should be waking up and rush for quizzes scheduled in a class. There are people who would secretly go and meet the professors, so that they would get the one extra mark when it comes to the final score or grade. And thousands of such things fall under the scope of the basket of RG.

Now I want to share something with you that I confused about. I want to know why this process of continuous evaluation? Maybe because they want to check our consistency or maybe as a thought that came to me, because they doubt the education system that is in place. If you really think that a good educating system is in place, why not just evaluate them twice in a year. Ok your argument is that one exam cannot show an individuals talent, but atleast two can. And after seeing the education system here, I do feel that they should have a continuous evaluation process, not only to evaluate the students progress but to evaluate the overall progress of their teaching staff and their academic system.

So long for RG……Cya

Dhimrock…On my way to Mumbai from Delhi 3 PM….Swaraj express…..listening to ‘Cold drink Cold drink’ being shouted by vendors inside the train.

Hi guys writing a poem after a long long time...or should I say posting on the blog after a long long time. Have been writing a lot but did not feel like posting it.I dont know if people have been visiting my blog or not, but the comments suggests not. Anyways I will still keep on writing. I had promised my old friends I would keep updating my blog. Sorry to them.

Just some news from my side, a new publishing house has decided to publish my book of short stories in June 2008. So looking forward to it.

As for this poem, dedicated specially to those people who are stuck up in a place and wondering why they are there !! Written in about 4 minutes. Hope you like it...

I think...too....

I sit here by my Laptop, thinking alone,
All my friends are going, some are long gone,
What am I doing here, no one here is mine,
I can hardly gulp my food, all alone I dine...

I am not sad, but neither am I happy;
Its only a life these days, nothing more than that,
I know life has given me a lot,
But it has put me in a race, and I just that rat.

For some I am a winner,
And for others, just a loser,
But like it has been for years, the joke is still the same,
I still know not what I am.

In search for myself I end my burst of thought,
And like every attempt, I have made to think,
I score nothing more than a naught;
The feeling comes back, Oh God! My life is about to sink...


Dhimrock..20th February 2007..In MDI's computer centre, he wonders why he is there !!!

WWW (Who wins why?)

I live to survive. I survive to live. But what if I say, Life is survival. The first two sentences then become redundant. There are four kinds of people I have met in my life, the hard workers, the smart workers, the combination workers and the leeches.

Hard workers are those who want to work hard because that is what relaxes them, that is what satisfies them, that is what gives them a sense of achievement. But somehow these kind of people are mostly those who taste a lot of failures. Why I do not know? I am smart enough to forge out a reason for this and it may be true for my own self, but it may not be universal. So lets us say I do not know for now. I must not forget that there have been certain successful people belonging to this category but that is because they have shifted their category half way.

The other category is those of winners. Those who work smart have won almost every time except for some rare events when there was something drastically wrong.

The third category is which I like the most because this is where I belong, the category of ordinaries. Firstly these people are in an ephemeral dilemma about whether they should work hard or smart. Their ability says WORK HARD….but their heart says WORK SMART….These people also get easily influenced by others. These people find idols in life. They find one, follow them and they are always looking for change, even in their idols. This is what I call the people trap. I say 70% of the people belong to this category.

These people love to succeed and they do but occasionally. Actually some of these people succeed a lot, other very little. This is because ordinary people depend a lot on luck.

Statisticians go ahead, prove me wrong because I have no respect for statistics. I will tell you why.

A famous statistic says 80% of the accidents happen on the foot path. My conclusion, walk on the middle of the road….. What do you say about this?

Statistics often give wrong results. Anyways why are we talking about statistics? Let us move on to the fourth category, the category I call the PITY category.

These people may be compared to the character of Peter Keating of ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ayn Rand. For those who have not read it, these people are those who will survive on others ideas, others actions and others initiatives. Surprisingly these people taste success a little more than the ordinary category or the combination worker. But these people lose all self respect. And respect from all.

So now I will end up with a statement which Smart workers practice with their motivation, the hard workers believe they cannot practice, the ordinary people pretend to practice, and the PITY workers practice without their own interest.

Losers will be losers until they decide to win.

I write this poem just for one purpose. Because I have never be able to thank them enough and I never will be able to...For my raisers, my soul, my reason of existence......

Dhimant N.




My Raisers

The first tear that I dropped,
Was the symbol of eternal maternal love,
My first hair the barber cropped,
Was the discipline, she put into me.

The first book that I read,
Was the flow of paternal skills,
He may not have taught me to breathe,
But he surely taught me to clean my teeth.

These things sound so little,
And you already judged them trivial,
Not our fault, these are easy to belittle,
Thats why I write today, to thank the trivial.

Health, wealth and soul, Oh Gods, I owe to you,
My parents, my treasure, I bow to you,
I am indebted to you,me, my soul,
I promise to give you my heart,my body,as a whole !

Some day I may leave my debt half way,
That will be when I leave no longer, on that day,
Thats why I write today,what I want to say,
I will want you again, whatever price I have to pay......


Dhimrock---In my room..Missing an older life.....23 August 2006

ABSOLUTE IS NOTHING

I am in the race of life,

Like a rat, every hour I dig,

Hours I spend on the edge of a knife,

However, in the mirror, I find just a pig.

I was born to achieve absolute glory,

But a game called life changed my story,

Everyday, what others do, I just follow;

Feelings are intense, but I remain so hollow.

My question, Why am I here?

Just because, so did my peer?

But now my ego cries, in search of itself,

My eyes are hazy, and nothing is clear.

I have always taken; today I decide to give,

Call me selfish, but I give only to me,

Because further, without shame, I want to live;

So that the mirror, shows no pig, but shows only thee.

Dhimrock----22 August...sitting in the class wondering....

Destiny is something about which everybody has their own ideas and explanations. Whenever I meet some one I make it a point to know their ideas about destiny. I personally believe 2 things about destiny which many may not agree to and they are…..

1. Don’t depend on destiny but believe in destiny.
2. Don’t make destiny a suitable excuse for all you failures.

The most interesting idea or explanation I have ever have heard about destiny is about what I write this poem. It said that a destiny is not a path on which you have to walk to reach the end. It is more like a direction of life where you have decide which small turns to take and which way to follow. According to this philosophy it would be fair to say that “One makes his own destiny and no one else does “

Thanks,
Dhimant N.

Destiny My Friend……


Destiny is a road, a road we can’t see,
Destiny is an end, where we have to be;
Destiny is what happens, not what one sees,
It’s a force that brings all to their knees.

One night I asked myself “Why this to me” ?
The almighty replied “Because it had to be“
I asked him why my path is ready and made?
And why cant I chose my own path to tread?

He said you can, and that’s what you do.
You choose your road and you decide what to do.
You are the only one that controls your way,
Think twice before you ask and know what you say.

The direction of your life may be preset,
But you decide how your goals are met,
There are different ways to take you to the ends,
In the way you just choose the little turns and bends.

Destiny is one hint that life chooses to give,
But its upon man how he chooses to live,
Destiny is like a jungle that you have,
In that your own glorious path you pave.

I relaxed and thought of what he spoke,
All my ideas about CHOICE seemed empty and broke,
He is right, he speaks what is right and wise.
Destiny is just a board, on which you throw the dice.



Dhimrock……….15th May 2006...00.30 Hours….About to sleep……….